What's Wrong With This Camping Picture?
by Katie Beltramo
Like many aspects of parenting, the idea of camping can be quite distant from the reality. As a mom who has actually taken young kids camping, I couldn't help but chuckle at many of the stock images of camping that I found. They try to capture the essence of camping, but they're just so wrong in so many ways. If you are new to camping and you'd like to give it a try, I'm hoping this collection of images will give you a better idea of what camping isn't.
Pack It Up, Pack It In, Time to Begin
This picture, like many of the ones that follow below, is entirely untethered from reality.
I'm not going to lie: packing for camping is not super-fun. Your car will look like you're going somewhere for two or three weeks, not two or three days. This image won't happen when you're on your way to camp, because by the time the car is filled, your child(ren) will either be (1) whining and begging you to leave, because they are super-excited and they can't believe that getting ready could possibly take this long because your family is new to camping, or (2) stoic and quietly helpful, because they now know that vaguely stressed-out adults taking too long to fill the car is the price that they must pay for the future joy of arrival.
This image won't happen after you've repacked the car at the end of the camping trip, either, because any children or dogs will desperately need a bath. The kids may be smiling, but they'll be smiling in their sleep, already conked out in the back seat.
The Greatest Show on Earth
This is an absolutely lovely setting, but this family is missing the whole point of camping. Don't watch a movie while you're camping! You won't need a movie. There is so much to see.
Sure, it's a terrific idea to bring binoculars, a telescope, and an astronomy book to look at the stars. But you can also do pretty darn well just poking at a campfire with a stick. Kids are mesmerized by fire! Or close your eyes in your sleeping bags and try to identify sounds. If you're really stumped, an app like iNaturalist, Merlin, or BirdNET can help you. Save the movie for when you've returned home and are recovering on your couch.
Also Missing the Point of Camping
This unbelievably staged photo just feels downright ominous to me.
Listen, I get it. I just got back from a vacation in which I brought my laptop along and feverishly answered emails while others were getting ready for the next outing. But there's something about how these three people are all smiling in close proximity to each other while ignoring each other completely that just makes me so sad! Of course you will bring your phone while camping (good luck with the signal)! Maybe—heaven forbid—you'll even need to take your laptop. But set them aside as much as you can. Just use that phone to take fun snapshots, and if you have to do business, excuse yourself for a few minutes. Don't sit there plastering a fake smile on your face, or your child will be forced to quietly eat her feelings.
Help Yourself
Wow, these girls are such amazing helpers! I do not believe that they exist.
Listen, I have two daughters who grew up generally more helpful than average, but there was no way that I could have gotten them to focus on a single task upon arrival at the campsite. It is Way. Too. Exciting. Maybe, maybe, if one of us adults had injured ourselves, they might have paused to help apply direct pressure to a bleeding wound, but it's not a sure thing. But that's okay. You probably won't get a bleeding wound. At least not right away.
Yes, of course, we want to teach our children to be helpful, but my advice is to give them tasks that will allow them to run around and explore. Gathering twigs for kindling, finding the most efficient path to the restroom, or scouting out two sturdy trees for slinging a hammock are useful tasks that will burn off some energy and give kids a purpose so that they're occupied while the grown-ups are pitching a tent. And that plural is intentional: If you are single and you are new to camping, recruit a friend to come with you. Someone's got to talk you down from panicking if you hear bumps in the night.
Tom and Huck Cosplay
Sure, these little boys are cute, but this absolutely looks like a scene set up by a Boy Mom™ influencer and not, you know, actual boys. If this scene was set up by actual boys, I'm pretty sure that the color palate would not have been so precise and immaculate, and the boys would sure as heck spend their time building up a bigger fire and constructing some sort of seafaring vessel rather than creating a clothesline and decking it with coordinating separates.
However, the impulse is a good one: Bring along some clothesline on your camping trip to string between trees, and you'll have the perfect spot to hang wet swimsuits, a dishcloth, and dirty jackets.
Zip It!
Isn't this image adorable? Here's what I love about it: the kids are having fun together making shadows. That will absolutely happen if you go camping. But if you saw this scene as a parent who camps, you'd immediately yell: "ZIP UP THAT TENT!"
Tent integrity is everything when you're camping. You'll see a hint of that in this picture: As experienced campers do, these folks have pitched their tent on a tarp for a bit more added protection from the ground, and they've extended the tarp to form a sort of "porch" where everyone can slip off their shoes to leave them just outside the tent so that they won't track in dirt. But with this light in the tent, every bug in viewing distance will flock to your family's side to join the fun unless that tent is firmly zipped to keep them out.
Being "zipped in" doesn't just keep the bugs out, by the way: It provides a little added sense of security if you hear an animal in the night. In fact, some people will even use a safety pin or a carabiner to "lock" the zipper. (I actually know someone who watched a raccoon try to unzip her tent.) But one plus about this particular setup: The pouch hanging from the top is a great place to store essentials like flashlights, glasses, your wallet and car keys. During the night, it's easy to lose items among the sleeping bags and sleepers. So, if this were a contest, the score would be Campers 1, Critters 1.
Wading With Floaties
These cute boys are wearing floaties and a life preserver in ankle deep water! That's pretty ridiculous. In fact, it struck me as so funny that I had to check the rest of the photo shoot: these kids are barefoot.
Yes, you'll absolutely want to bring along life preservers if you're planning on going boating, but for most camping outings, you're more likely to go wading in creeks or splashing at the edge of a lake... and for that, your highest-priority safety apparel is a pair of water shoes. I've learned my lesson the hard way: One of my daughters stepped into a lake at the beginning of a week-long vacation and cut her foot within minutes of our arrival. So save yourself a trip to urgent care and insist on some water shoes. Make sure the kids like them so that it's not a battle to get them to wear them. We like the ones that are flexible and feel like socks. Flip-flops are insufficient, but in a pinch, Crocs will do.
Camping is No Babette's Feast
Wow, what a magnificent feast! It looks like it was arranged after shopping at an open-air market in Europe.
But let's face it: This looks absolutely nothing like anything you're likely to eat on a camping trip. Almost any camping site will include a picnic table and a cooking grill, so plan to bring along a tablecloth (plastic is fine) in case the table is messy. You'll also want some sturdy cutlery, cups, plates, a pot or pan if you'll need them, and a cutting board.
WHAT-A Mess
NO, not that cutting board, all teensy-tiny, with a giant chef's knife and a big ol' watermelon. Have these people ever cut a watermelon before? Do they have any idea how messy it is? I'm surprised the mother is even letting that girl get this close to the watermelon considering that she's wearing a party dress and a fancy hat.
Yes, absolutely bring watermelon or other fruit for hydrating snacks, but plan to cut them up ahead of time. It will be easier and tidier for you, so it will allow you more time to relax and enjoy yourself. And don't forget the paper towels or napkins!
Breakfast, Anyone?
This might be the dumbest depiction of a camp breakfast ever. First of all, everyone looks fantastic, combed, and unrumpled, which I suppose shouldn't surprise anyone given that this is completely staged. But what is it with stock photos having all the members of the family lined up, lying on their stomachs, peeking out of the tent? I guarantee you that the mom would actually be hunched in a camp chair, cradling that tin cup of coffee, and leaning into the campfire in the morning chill. Leaning into the campfire with your cup of coffee while the birds are calling is one of the best moments of camping! And these people have decided to forego an actual campfire with, I suppose it's a small propane heater? Which the father has apparently placed dangerously close to all of his loved ones and the tent. Have you ever seen kids watch a parent scramble eggs with this level of enthusiasm? They wouldn't even do this at home, and they're certainly going to have better things to do while camping.
So: forget the propane heater: The heat, light, and smell of a campfire is precious and wonderful. And if you're bringing eggs for breakfast, why not boil them ahead of time? Throw them in the cooler: there's no risk of a cracked-egg mess, plus no cooking in the morning. Bring a couple of salt & pepper packets left over from take out, and you're all set!
Fish Bitin'?
This dad and kid are so very cute that it breaks my heart to see that they've made the common stock photo mistake of fishing on dry land.
Just so we're clear, if you'd like to catch fish, you'll need to catch them in water. If your family already enjoys fishing, this is a great activity to add to your camping plans. If you are new to fishing, honestly? I'd skip it for your first campout and plan it for another day's outing. Fishing is its own distinct outside activity, and it includes its own preparations, like making sure that you have bait and a valid fishing license. Don't worry: Most fishing licenses are pretty cheap and easy to get, and state parks often have learn-to-fish events that will help you get started. But it's ambitious for beginners to add to a first camping trip... unless what you really want to do is fish on land and have your partner take stock photos, that is.
Smile!
There are so many stock photos like this one. I have camped so many times with our family, who are cute enough in their own right, but we have never, ever produced a photo like this, even with my husband's fancy camera and a tripod.
When you're camping, whether you're a beginner or an experienced camping family, you will be way too busy playing, hiking, exploring, and "tentkeeping" to pose. Your family will be scattered one minute and schmooshed together the next, but likely they'll never be lined up this nicely. It's highly unlikely that you'll pause to think about capturing the moments. Which is too bad, because some of those moments will be precious, and you'll want to remember them.
If All Else Fails
Hey y'all: this isn't camping. This is glamping. The tip-offs: actual furniture, a clean floor, a flower arrangement, fairy lights, her delicate slingback sandals, and my personal favorite, a full bottle of wine.
Did you know that glamorous camping, aka glamping, is a thing? And because it's still camping-adjacent, sometimes it's even pretty affordable. So if camping absolutely isn't for you, that's okay! We are a guilt-free zone, and the reason why we (well, some of us, anyway) love camping is because it's a great way to appreciate nature with your family. So get outside with your family in whatever way works best for you.
Happy camping!
Katie Beltramo, a mother of two, is communications director at Kids Out and About. She also blogs at Capital District Fun and has actually gone camping.